Ways to Celebrate
by Shelbrel
Summary: Duke certainly wasn't expecting to be awoken by screeching in the middle of the night, but based on everything that happened after that, the screaming was the least strange out of it all. Written for Duke Devlin's birthday. Oneshot, no pairings included.


**A/N: yoooooo. It's February 28, which means that it is the one and only Duke DiceBabe Devlin's birthday. hella.**

**Sorry for this being so lengthy, that wasn't the plan at all. But. Whatever. **

**I feel like I always have something to apologize for in my author's notes. I'm just such a nice person. Ahah just kidding I'm a total asshole. **

**So anyway. Go read that thing that's below this, yo. **

Awaking in the earliest hours of the morning to the horrific sound of distressed shrieking is never a very pleasant experience.

With a start, Duke flew out of bed, eyes widened wildly. He grasped the knob of his bedroom door, but rather than frantically yank it open, he sharpened his hearing to listen better. It wasn't hard to determine that the noise hadn't been made by anyone that lived in his house; the screech had been extremely feminine, and not even his mother was capable of sounding that high pitched. From what he could hear, there were two people downstairs, hissing lowly to each other in harsh voices, though determining what they were saying was impossible.

In an act of sheer courage, he flung the door open and crept down the staircase. The entire first floor was shrouded in darkness, no doubt to avoid drawing attention to the intruders. Duke decided to leave the lights off as they were, silently plotting an attack plan to sneak up on whomever was in his home unwarranted.

He couldn't hear any more voices or sounds, but he sensed movement, cautious shuffling of feet and careful opening of bags. It was blatant that whoever it was was trying their hardest to go unnoticed. Duke peeked around the squared corner of the wall that separated the living room and kitchen half way. With his diminished nightvision, he could vaguely distinguish the outline of two men, about the same height and build, both appearing to be emptying out tote bags. Duke found it odd that they were unloading as opposed to packing their thieved loot into the bags, but brushed off the non-urgent thought. Instead, he focused directly on what he should do in order to rid his home of the intruders. Once he noticed that they both were facing the opposite direction, Duke realized that would be the best time to strike.

Without taking anymore time to organize a logical thought, Duke rushed forward, lunging at the man closest to him and clambering onto his back. The infiltrator stumbled backwards, letting out a surprised yelp and reaching up in order to shove Duke off of him. Duke, however, did not ease up whatsoever, throwing fierce punches into the back of his head and kicking his own heels rapidly into his kneecaps. They continued to grapple aimlessly until the unidentified trespasser called out a truce.

"Duke! Quit it, get off me!"

That voice.

He recognized it instantly.

Hopping off his back, he faltered backward and blindly reached out for the lightswitch, flicking it up and wincing at the sudden brightness.

"...Joey?"

Joey was rubbing the back of his head, his face scrunched into a scowl. From behind him suddenly appeared his accomplice, a roll of brightly coloured streamer in his grasp.

"Wha...Tristan? What are you guys doing here? And why were you screaming like a little girl?"

Joey frowned at the insult, then turned pointed his nose upward indignantly.

"You're not one to be callin' other people girls, Devlin. At least I don't wear guyliner." He crossed his arms, facing his offender again. "And maybe if _Tristan_," he stopped to glare accusingly at him. "hadn't hit me in the face with the damn roll of streamers, I wouldn't've-"

The statement was abruptly interrupted by a woman's voice floating down the stairs.

"Duke? What's going on?"

She must have heard Duke's voice and been awoken by it, but fortunately she hadn't heard either of the other two hooligans.

"Nothing, mom," he replied hastily, pushing them farther away from the stairs so they would not be spotted by his mother. "Just...getting a drink."

"I thought I heard you yelling, is everything all right?"

He heard her start to travel down the steps and quickly rushed up in front of her.

"Everything's fine, I just hit my hip on the counter. Sorry if I woke you."

"Oh, honey, are you sure you're-"

"Yes, I'm really okay. You can go back to bed," he cut her off, reluctantly accepting a kiss on the cheek, fuming when he heard snickering coming from behind him.

Once that situation had been taken care of, Duke turned back to the duo, flashing a glare that instantly silenced their soft laughter.

"What are you doing in my house? It's three in the morning!"

Joey suddenly threw a handful of multicoloured confetti at him, grinning broadly.

"Surprise!"

Tristan blew into a noisemaker, the blue paper end uncurling and sticking straight out. Duke hastily shushed him, now more pissed off than before.

"Shut up, you idiot. Do you want my parents to wake up again?"

"Oh damn, wouldn't wanna deal with Mama Devlin again," he admitted, feigning fright with a forced shudder. It was obvious that he was joking, as the woman was one of the kindest he'd met, and not to mention nearly half his height.

"Or Daddy Devlin," Joey added in, laughing along with his friend.

"Yeah, but I'd especially not wanna deal with Baby Devlin," Tristan continued.

"Man, he sure put up a tough fight with me!" Joey then extended his arm forward and pinched Duke's cheek affectionately, to which he had his hand promptly smacked away. Duke folded his arms as he watched the two of them doubled over, leaning on each other, both howling with laughter. After a moment, Joey straightened up, wiping a tear from his eye as his amusement died down. He glanced over towards Duke, who appeared ready to murder each of them slowly, individually, and unmercifully.

"What the hell are you doing in my house?," he repeated,his tone harsh, yet close enough to a whisper to come off less threatening.

Joey grinned widely at him, clapping his shoulder with one palm and gesturing to the entire room using his free hand. It was brightly decorated with streamers, banners, and balloons. Apparently they'd been in the midst of hanging even more streamers when they'd been caught, putting their ingenious plan on hold.

"We're throwin' you a party!"

"A party?," Duke's nose scrunched up in confusion, until he realized what he meant. "My birthday isn't until tomorrow."

His grin broadened, winking at the ravenhead. "Technically, it's already February twenty eighth, 'cause it's past midnight."

"Yeah, speaking of which," Duke shook the hand off his shoulder and narrowed his olive eyes. "Why couldn't you guys just wait until a decent hour to throw me a party instead of breaking into my house in the middle of the night? How'd you even get in?"

Tristan held up a copper key between two fingers, and said in a reproaching voice, "Really, dude? Under the doormat?"

"Anyway," Joey butted in, answering the first of Duke's questions. "We were gonna surprise you for when you woke up, y'know, see all of this in the mornin' and be all, 'Oh my God! Joey is so great! What would I ever do without him?'." He raised the pitch of his voice significantly when imitating Duke. Clearing his throat, he continued the explanation. "But you kinda put a damper on our plans when you showed up and started beatin' the shit outta me."

"I thought you guys were trying to rob us."

"Yeah, well," Tristan disagreed jokingly, grabbing a faceless angel figurine with gold etched into her wings off of a nearby hutch. "This looks pretty nice. Might fetch some big bucks on the Internet."

"Put that back," Duke snapped irritably, then tacked onto the end, "This is the dumbest thing you guys have ever done. And for you-"

"Yeah, yeah, 'that's saying something'," Tristan finished for him, rolling his eyes at the over used line. He then jerked his thumb in Joey's direction, and explained, "Joey over here wanted to hire some hookers for you, but I convinced him to do this instead."

"Hey, don't go actin' like this was all _your_ idea, Mister Glory Hog," Joey defended, intending to suck up some of the glory for himself for his part in coming up with the way to celebrate their buddy's birthday. It was his eighteenth, after all, so he was fully legal. Joey then turned to said birthday boy, and, noticing the freaked look he wore, waved both hands in front of him, grinning timidly.

"Don't worry, I woulda gotten a chick _and_ a dude so you could take your pick, 'cause I know you go either way."

Despite his friend's consideration of his sexuality, Duke had to resist the urge to throttle him.

"You're a moron."

"No offense, bud, but in the state you're in, I don't even think the hookers would bang ya."

Duke was always so impeccable with his primping that imagining his own appearance at that moment made him almost sick. His sleek, ebony hair fell in a disheveled mop over his shoulders, and not a spot of makeup was anywhere to be found on his face. Maroon pajama bottoms, with little dice patterns stitched into the material, pooled around his feet, and the rumpled, black tee he wore was wrinkled beyond the power of any iron. Not to mention the pissy mood he was in due to the fact that his so called 'friends' were critiquing his appearance at three a.m.

Duke sneered. "Sorry, I wasn't exactly expecting any visitors."

Joey laughed heartily, albeit quietly, and once more placed a hand on his shoulder. "Y'know, Dukey, mama always told me to be polite to guests, and I'm not really feelin' any hospitable vibes coming off you right now."

"You mean she always told you that _before_ she took your sister away and abandoned you?," Tristan added, reaching up to tape more streamers to the low ceiling.

Joey's expression suddenly turned dark, shaking his fist in the direction of the commentator. "I don't need any input from the peanut gallery, thank you very much!"

Still incredibly peeved, Duke peeked over at Tristan and saw he was still hanging up streamers, despite Duke having already found out about the party.

"Dude, quit hanging up decorations!," he suddenly commanded, slapping the roll of colourful tissue from Tristan's hand.

Tristan glared, shoving Duke's shoulder and causing him to stumble, but he managed to keep from overbalancing.

"Don't hit me, Devlin!"

"Don't shove me, Taylor!"

They growled in each other's faces, pride keeping either from backing down, until Joey intervened, putting and hand on each of their chests and creating more space between them.

"Hey, hey, hey, no hitting the birthday boy. Cool your jets, T."

"He started it," Tristan muttered, turning to tape up more strips of paper to the ceiling.

"What the hell did I just say?," Duke fumed, tearing the paper from where it'd just been taped. "Don't hang anything else up. You guys gotta start cleaning this place up before my parents see it."

"Aw, c'mon, man," Joey pleaded, sticking his bottom lip outward and significantly widening his copper eyes. "I worked so hard-"

"Don't you mean _we_ worked so hard?," Tristan cut in, but had his face shoved away by Joey's hand.

"No. Anyway, why don't we just have the party now, considerin' you're all ready here and everything? Then, afterwords, Tristan'll clean up the whole thing and you don't gotta sweat it. Your folks won't know a thing."

Once again, Tristan put in an objection.

"I think you mean _you'll_ clean up the whole thing, since you're so quick to take credit for it all."

"Well you can think that all you want," Joey said. "It certainly won't be the first time you're mistaken."

Ignoring the two slinging comments back and forth, Duke sighed, both with exhaustion and exasperation. He might as well let them celebrate now. After all, they had gone to all the trouble of planning and decorating, and it _was_ his birthday...

"Alright, fine. We can have the party now," Duke allowed, finally just giving up. Joey was in midst of a whooping cheer when he spoke again. "But if my mom or my dad wake up-"

"Don't even worry about it," Joey reassured. "Like I said, Tristan'll take care of everything."

And from there, the trio proceeded to celebrate what could've perhaps been the most unconventional birthday party in history. They'd decided to move from the living room to the small indoor patio at the back of the house, and though the room had not been decorated, they had a substantially slimmer chance of anyone hearing them out there. Duke was semi-impressed that they'd even brought a cake with them, even if it was one of those circular ones you buy at the supermarket that serve five if you're extremely fortunate. Joey took the liberty of sticking eighteen red and black candles into the top, but hadn't thought to bring a lighter along with them. That was just as well, for Duke preferred to get the celebration over with as quickly as possible. So when the two boys in front of him began to sing the infamous Birthday Song, he held up a hand to shush them.

"I don't need you two wailing like dying cats, but thanks."

Joey harrumphed, folding his arms firmly across his chest. "I happen to have the voice of an angel, if you must know."

Rolling his caramel irises, Tristan delivered a sharp jab with his elbow and then motioned towards the miniature dessert.

"Make a wish, birthday boy."

Tapping his chin in mock thought, Duke finally pretended to blow out the unlit candles, stopping once he deemed them all extinguished.

"Oh, you missed one!," Joey playfully pointed out, pinching an unlit black wick between his index finger and thumb, then drawing back and hissing in 'pain'. "Damn, that's hot."

"Yeah, I get that a lot," Duke grinned narcissistically, winking a green eye that was normally dripping with black eyeliner.

Joey and Tristan hooted with laughter for what seemed like the thousandth time that night, only this time Duke joined them, cracking up at his own joke alongside his two pals.

"Man, Devlin, you kill me, you really do," Tristan voiced his hyperbole, placing a hand on each hip and standing up much straighter.

"Oh, if only," Duke prodded, tacking on a dreamy-sounding sigh for emphasis. Again, Joey lost his composure, laughing so much he starting snorting each time he attempted to catch his breath. Tristan's mouth locked into a scowl, not appreciating the other two finding amusement at his expense.

"Whatever," he dismissed grumpily, changing the topic. "What'd you wish for?"

"Better friends."

"You suck, dude," Joey teased, lightheartedly socking Duke in the bicep.

A moment passed in silence before Tristan suddenly broke out into soft chuckles, catching the attention of the other two.

"Yeah, he literally does!," Tristan said, already hunched over with his hands on his knees, shoulders quaking.

It took them a minute to figure out that he'd just taken a stab at the fact that he'd been with other males before. Immediately, Joey joined his bud in raucous giggling, but apparently Duke was still befuddled by the comment.

"I don't get it."

In the midst of the uproar, Joey attempted to explain. "'Cause, you've...you're...oh my god...!" His sentence died off into a string of laughter, and continued on until Duke finally understood the joke.

"Oh, that was low."

"I'm sure you've gone lower...!," Tristan shot back, nearly incomprehensible. Joey had slumped to the floor, head resting against his knees, redfaced and gasping for breath.

Duke was about to shoot back an indignant "fuck you", but realized just in time that saying that would make it much to easy for them to backfire it as another insult at him. So, instead, he held his tongue, tapping his bare foot as he waited impatiently for the two to calm themselves. He glanced to the screen door that connected the patio to the kitchen, but deemed himself merely paranoid and shook his head. His parents' bedroom was two rooms away, up the stairs, and down the hall. The chance of them being heard was still very small, although the two goons falling over each other and crying with intense amusement _were_ being rather loud...

"Guys! Shut up! You're gonna get us caught!"

Eventually, the command got through Joey's thick skull, and he suppressed anymore noise and took deep breaths through his nose before standing up again.

"Aw, is Baby Devlin worried?," he cooed mockingly, reaching over a hand to pinch Duke's face like he had earlier that night, and similarly to the first time, got his hand violently slapped away.

Joey chuckled one last time but remained calm, pulling out the chair he previously sat in and rejoining his butt to the seat. Tristan promptly took a seat across from him so that they both were sitting next to the third member of the room, who rested at the head of the table.

"Alright, cake time," Joey announced, picking up a plastic knife and pulling the dessert closer to him. He sliced it into thirds, clearly making one piece much larger than the other two. Serving them each on paper plates, he dealt them out, but of course, Tristan had to protest.

"Why do you get the biggest piece?," he demanded.

"'Cause," Joey answered simply, stabbing the cake with his fork and shovelling the majority of the slice into his mouth.

"Maybe I wanted the biggest piece," Tristan muttered, grabbing his fork and taking a monstrous chomp out of his own, slightly smaller, slice.

"Well ain't that too damn bad."

Tristan grumbled again, looking down at his plate. Moments later, both he and Joey had entirely devoured their food, but a quick glance over at Duke told them he hadn't even touched his own yet.

"What's the matter?," Tristan inquired curiously. "Aren't you gonna eat?"

"I'm not sure what it is, but there's just something so unappealing about eating sickeningly sweet cake topped with globs of sugary frosting at three thirty in the morning," he replied disdainfully, scooting the paper plate forwards a little ways.

"But...it's vanilla," Tristan said, as if it would convince him it was any less unappetizing to consume birthday cake for breakfast. "And look, there's little sprinkles baked into it."

Duke merely glared his way, slowly shaking his head in disgust.

"I think Baby Devlin just needs a little encouragement," Joey suggested, his voice becoming much higher as if he were speaking to an actual infant. He picked up Duke's fork, scooping up a tiny bite of cake and pushing in the direction of his mouth, flying it in a wave motion and making jet noises with his mouth. "Open up, here comes the plane!"

"Get that crap out of my face," Duke spat, unamused that they were continuing the whole 'Baby Devlin' bit. He leaned his face in the opposite direction, but Joey just flew the forkplane that way instead.

"Come on, don't be uncooperative, Baby Devlin. Open the hangar. Nyoom!"

Instead of 'opening the hangar' like he'd been asked to, Duke smacked the plate from Joey's hand, making the final piece of cake tumble to the floor, landing frosting-side down with a splat.

Instead of reproaching Duke for his actions, Joey bent down and scooped the dessert back onto the paper plate, stabbing it with the plastic utensil he held in his hand.

"You're not really gonna eat that, are you?," Tristan pondered incredulously, watching as his friend did in fact take a bite of it.

"I payed $4.99 for this thing, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let any of it go to waste. Besides, five-second rule."

Tristan marvelled at him as he continued to devour the floorcake, before picking up another fork and going in for a bite. Joey abruptly jerked it out of his reach, shaking his head since his mouth was full.

"Gimme some," Tristan demanded, stabbing at the air where the portion of tainted dessert previously rested.

"Are you two really gonna fight over a piece of cake that fell on the ground?," Duke asked, wording the exasperated question more rhetorically than literally. Glancing up at them, he received his nonverbal response, seeing that Joey had apparently given in and now the two were silently sitting across from each other, sharing the slice of floorcake.

Duke rolled two dazzling, green eyes up to the ceiling, his sigh unwillingly morphing into a yawn.

"Once you two lovebirds finish your canoodling, you should probably get cleaning."

"Where do you think you're goin'?," Joey demanded, his mouth still stuffed. Duke strutted towards the screendoor, pulling it open and turning back to face them.

"_I'm_ going to bed. _You're_ going to pick up that mess you made in the living room."

"Hold on! You didn't even get your present yet!"

At the mention of a present, Duke's interest was peeked. Hesitantly, he let the door swing shut, plunking down in the chair he'd previously occupied.

"Alright, fine. But this is really it. After this, I'm going to bed."

Joey grinned, exiting the porch and going back into the house, returning before the swinging door had managed to still. He extended his arms out towards Duke, presenting him with the gift he and Tristan had picked out for him. Duke gladly accepted it, examining the packaging. It was a small square box, poorly covered in wrapping paper patterned with cartoon Duel Monsters on a crimson background. He struggled to open it, due to the excessive amount of tape around it.

"I wrapped it," Tristan proclaimed proudly, flashing a grin while he marvelled at his work.

"Great job, I can barely get it open."

But he eventually did manage to tear off the paper, and was confused to find a brown piece of fabric folded up inside. Placing the box on his lap, he pulled out the item, and scoffed once he realized what it was.

"It's a hat!," Joey explained, watching with amusement as Duke stared at it. He was right about it being a hat, but a closer look showed it had floppy ears on the top, a smiling face, and rounded, button nose.

It was meant to resemble a dog.

"You like it?," Joey questioned enthusiastically, all agog for his response.

Duke glowered at the floppy piece of brown material. His mind travelled back to the day he'd first met Joey and the whole gang. Back then, Duke had been much less friendly, and Joey obviously would never let him live down the fact that Duke had forced him to dress like a fluffy canine.

"'Cause I know how fond you are of 'em," Joey added mockingly.

Duke rolled his eyes, yet laughed all the same. "Oh yeah, gotta love those pooches. Although..." He leaned over towards Joey, smashing the winter hat over his mop of shaggy golden hair. Before Joey even had a chance to protest, Duke had taken ahold of the two strings swinging on the bottom, both of which were adorned bright green poof balls, and tied them in a bow below Joey's chin with his nimble fingers. "It looks much better on you, Joey."

"Yeah, you're right! It does!," Tristan agreed. "It really adds to the whole 'mutt' thing."

Joey glowered, tugging at the knot below his chin.

"I'm sure Kaiba would get a kick out of seeing you like that," Duke prodded, to which he received the soft material tossed at his face.

"It was your present, not mine!," Joey hollered, seething at the mention of his least favourite person. "And I bet Richboy _would_ love to see me dressed like a mutt, maybe it'd fulfill some of his sick fetishes!"

"I'm pretty sure it's illegal to have sex with real dogs, so you'd be the next best thing," Duke teased further, causing Joey to growl and grit his teeth.

"I'm not gonna fuck that freak!"

Tristan waved a hand in his direction. "Oh don't flatter yourself, Joey. I don't even think Kaiba's gay anyway."

"Maybe not, but I'm sure he'd consider crossing over if you were his prize, Pup." As punctuation to the teasing remark, Duke added a mocking, "Ruff, ruff!"

"Alright, alright, that's enough!," Joey demanded, frown deepening. "Y'know, we gotcha a real present, but I guess you don't want it."

Duke abruptly silenced his laughter, straightening up in his seat and crossing one leg over the other in a regal position.

"I'm listening."

At that, Joey grinned, reaching into the front pocket of his jeans, withdrawing a tiny item and offering it to the birthday boy. "Sorry it's not wrapped, but _somebody_ used up all the tape wrappin' the first gift."

Accepting the present, Duke looked it over only to see it was yet another strip of fabric and nearly spurned it, until he realized it was actually a headband. It was black, patterned with little white dice, each resting at a different angle and displaying their own amount of dots.

"Just 'cause that red one you always have on is so drab," Tristan clarified briefly as he watched him marvel at the gift.

"Wow, thanks, guys." Sweeping stray fringe from his forehead, Duke wrapped the new item around his head, tying it in the back with expertise. The black colour of the material somewhat camouflaged in his raven hair, though the white cubes all across the front stood out boldly.

"Ay, lookin' good, Devlin," Joey catcalled, wolf-whistling shrilly. "Y'know, if I didn't already have a hot girlfriend, I'd totally bang you."

Duke smiled broadly, flashing a thumbs-up at him. "Well, once Téa realizes what a huge mistake she's made and dumps your ass, I'll be sure to give you a call."

The amused grin fell from Joey's face, replaced with a glower, and Duke was now the one wearing the smirk, whilst Tristan gazed on as merely an entertained spectator.

"'Scuse me, my beautiful mug keeps the ladies plenty interested. They're practically throwin' themselves at me."

Emerald eyes rolled up to the ceiling. "Oh, I'm so sure of that."

"You better believe it, Dukey. I wouldn't be surprised if you really _did_ wanna spend a night with the one and only Joey Wheeler. I'd rock your Goddamn world."

Duke snorted audibly at the remark, covering his mouth with a palm and ducking his head. He almost lost it entirely when Joey carried on the rant longer.

"I mean, I'm not really into dudes or nothin', but you're be feminine enough to pass for a chick. You got a nice curve to your figure. Too bad your chest is so flat."

"Sorry my boobs don't meet your standards, Joey. I'll try harder to get them to your liking."

At the smart comment, Joey playfully reached over and tugged the bandana down over Duke's eyes, ruffling his hair with a palm. "That ain't what I meant, smartass."

All three boys began getting rowdy again, laughing together for the final time before Duke pushed the cloth back up to his forehead and relaxed, sighing in content.

"Thanks for the party, guys," he said at last, offering a smile. "Even if you did break into my house at three in morning, I still had a good time."

"No problem, bud," Joey grinned. "Hey, whatdaya know, maybe next year we'll pop in even earlier. Around two-ish, whatever works for you."

"Yeah, definitely," Duke shot back sarcastically.

Silently, he lead the two of them back inside, halting at the bottom of the staircase. He gazed over the living room once more, contemplating whether or not to stay and help them clean. Tristan seemed to understand what he was thinking, as a moment later he clapped him on the shoulder, looking him in the eye and saying in a voice barely audible, "Don't worry about it, dude. Go to bed. Joey'll take care of the whole thing."

They exchanged grins before Duke nodded his head, beginning to plod upstairs as quiet as humanly possible, before a harsh whisper drew his attention back.

"Psst...hey...!"

Turning his head in the direction of where the soft voice had come from, he saw both Joey and Tristan waving to him, goofy grins on their faces, as they spoke in unison.

"Happy birthday, Duke!"

**A/N: I think my future occupation should be sneaking Devotionshipping into literally everything. I do such a good job of it already. winkwonk. **

**Anyway! Hope all you kittens enjoyed! It really wasn't supposed to be so atrociously long, but I'm so in love with Duke Devlin that it borders on obsession. And as you can tell by my excessively wordy author's notes, I also love having an excuse to run my mouth ōuō **

**Oh yeah by the way Tristan was wrong, Kaiba is hella gay. **


End file.
